After your spouse tells you they want a divorce, the days and months that follow can be one of the most challenging experiences of your life. Typically, the people who do well are the ones who have mentally prepared and processed their emotions before asking their spouse for a divorce. For others, they are caught off guard, and it feels like their world is ending. You begin seeing the world through a different filter in many ways. Many psychologists compare it to processing a death.
If you are reading this and you’re someone who just discovered that they are getting divorced, then you are understandably going through one of the most difficult times of your life.
Take a Step Forward
You may even hope that you can reconcile with your spouse and that things will return to how they were. The first two stages of the grieving process are denial and anger. The first can inhibit your potential for moving forward, and the second can cause you to do things that you wouldn’t normally do, which could hurt your case in the longrun.
It can be unhealthy to avoid being in denial or feeling angry. These feelings are going to surface regardless of whether you want them to. However, you can choose how these feelings are expressed. During the divorce process, there will be ample opportunity to start arguments, point fingers, and blame the other person for being the source of the wreckage. Another way of saying this is that there will be plenty of chances to give in to your anger—but should you?
Anger begets more anger. A therapist who is experienced with family dynamics and/or marital issues can be a lifesaver to you during this confusing time. Processing your anger and frustration through a mental health professional can assist you in handling your (valid) emotions in a safe and productive way.
Write Your Next Chapter
This is your opportunity to be the person you want to be. What is that going to look like? Marriages are a full-time commitment; understandably, you must set aside many of your personal interests and relationships. Some people realize they gave up too much of themselves to be in their marriage. You can choose to use this transition to reevaluate your priorities and relationship with yourself. Remember, people who are mentally and physically balanced will make for the best co-parents.
Although you have to co-parent together and set appropriate boundaries for your children, you also get to spend time with your children with just you! Make the memories you want to make with them. They need to see two healthy parents who love them and lead fulfilling and inspiring lives. For as much pain as you are in right now, you will look back and see this as a very temporary difficult period, which you overcame.
Get in Touch with a Team of Professionals
We believe in our name because our goal is to empower you. We understand that your needs may extend beyond the legal realm. That is why we would be happy to give you recommendations for financial planners, therapists and other expert resources. We want you to be the best version of yourself, and we are committed to doing our part to help you attain it. Contact Empowered Family Law, P.C. to schedule a consultation with us!
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