Can you go through a divorce without fighting? The simple answer is: yes. When you choose to dissolve your marriage, there will always be a lot of emotions tied to this decision. Although it is ok to be upset and frustrated, it is not wise to let these feelings control your divorce process. From both personal and professional perspectives, we understand how challenging that is.
Finding Your Resolution
Even though it may be difficult at the time, taking the high road yields better results. At Empowered Family Law, we emphasize the difference between acting assertive versus being aggressive. When you act aggressively towards someone, they are likely going to respond in kind—which serves to escalate conflict. Use email and text as a form of communication when possible, and keep all of these exchanges polite and to the point.
Choosing kindness costs you nothing. However, it lays the groundwork for open and constructive conversations about your divorce later.
What The Conversations Should Look Like
The first step is to be able to speak with your former spouse without it devolving into anger and finger-pointing. The next element is to have meaningful conversations that allow you to work through the things that could create a contested divorce. Go ahead and get as much information as you can on finances. At this stage, focus more on facts than wants. In other words, rather than telling your spouse that you want the house, find out how much the home is worth and how much equity you have in it.
During these conversations, try to answer these questions:
- What is most important to me?
- What am I willing to compromise on?
- What areas am I indifferent about?
For example:
- You may feel very strongly about being the primary custodian of your children
- You may be willing to negotiate how the proceeds from the house get divided
- You may not have any opinion on how the furniture gets divided
Every good agreement hinges on compromise. If your attorney knows what areas you are willing to compromise on, she can offer those things during the negotiation process.
Child Custody
Try not to take the position that you want X, your spouse wants Y, and you will let a judge decide who gets what. Going to court can be time-consuming and expensive, and you are giving up your ability to influence the outcome. If you want a true shared custody arrangement where you have the children one week and your spouse has them the next, you should know that many judges rarely order this. The way to achieve this is to have you and your spouse agree to it. It is a prime example of how respect and communication can achieve more favorable results than court-supervised battles.
Empowered Family Law
At Empowered Family Law, we focus on bringing a holistic approach to your divorce. We assertively help you and your family navigate this change and create your new beginning. The next chapter of your life can be rewarding and fulfilling, and we will help you get there. Contact Empowered Family Law to schedule a consultation.
Empowered Family Law, PC
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